Random Poem + School + Musings

It's another typical Saturday afternoon,

And here I am inside me room

Typing words for a blog I haven't written to

Since the ninth of July, three months through.

Once again here I go

Trying to express my inner thoughts

And I should be doing my homework now

In accounting and economics a.k.a ENGECON!

In other words... I missed blogging (and writing crazy poems. haha), and I've waited for that ideal moment to start again. I'm now in my second trimester of third year life (that makes me feel old), and so far, everything's okay. I need some excitement in my life. LOL. In other thought, aside from watching "Up" (which, in my opinion, is Pixar's best feature to date), last term has been pretty exciting.

Recap:

My CGPA was already qualified for first honors dean's list even if those are just the grades for 16 out of 17 units, however, due to a crazy chain of events, which included my programming professor getting mad at our class (and giving almost everyone a grade of 0.0) because our programs are similar (therefore concluding that we copied each other's programs when in fact, the similarities were just mere coincidences); having a panic attack, severe headaches, crying because of a one unit subject and getting a high-grade fever out of nowhere; and, in the end, being given a "grace grade" (though I wanted a higher grade) of 1.0.

(Note: That was one very long run-on sentence.)

That happened last September 9, 2009 (09/09/09), and was one of the toughest days in my academic life, but that's what makes life good. LOL. I'm so glad those are all behind me now.

BTW, this is one weird year. First the AH1N1 scare and just a few weeks ago, it was typhoon Ondoy followed by Peping.

Anyway... Have you ever felt like all people are quite good at something, while you are just so-so good at what you do? I have been thinking about that recently. Such a weird feeling. I can draw, but my drawings aren't at par to what I have pictured in side my head. Same goes with all other endeavors like writing, playing musical instruments, singing, acting, etc... Or maybe I'm just comparing too much... which I am most likely doing. Haha. Anyway, time to get back to my homework!!!

My Artsy Self Needs Some Expressing

This is what I get for taking up Engineering as a college course - the right side of my brain gets dried up. So, here goes an on-the-spot poem about... we are to find out. Hihi.

*****
The Crowd

Walk.
Stop.
Look around.

Many people are passing by.
Faces unknown,
those who you will never see again.
In their world, you are nothing.
In your world, they are nothing.
Yet, each one of you, I know.
I know full well.

You are all special in my eyes,
and I yearn for that day
you will see just how important your life is.

No matter how the world sees you -
even if you are just a tiny speck living among multitudes -
Always remember -
You are known and loved -
You are loved and known.

*****

Okay... somehow, the poem turned out like that. Finally, that concept stuck in my head for quite a long time made its way out... even if it turned out different than what I thought it should be.

I don't get it why my poems always revolve around God. They just do. It's probably the overflow of my soul. Anyway...

It's midterms week, and I cannot feel it. Oh well. Nothing much happening... At least I got to see Daryl Marasigan (a balikbayan friend) tomorrow. Weeee.

P.S. At last two lines: They were taken from "Bombay Rain" by Caedmon's Call. Music is mysteriously finds its way into my brain. Hehe.

The Day that was not My Day

Thursday, June 25, 2009. I was prepared to go to school and pass through the day with a breeze. I studied for my Thermodynamics and Physiology quizzes, which were to be taken at 8:00 AM and 9:40 AM, respectively. I even went to the LRT earlier than usual so that I will be on school at an earlier time. Then, everything went wrong. SO WRONG.

After a few minutes of waiting for the train to arrive, the LRT temporarily suspended its operation at about 7:30 AM, and I started to panic. There was no way I'm going to ride the jeepney because the road was flooded with people. So, I called my mother and asked her to take me to La Salle via our car, for the first time ever.

On my way to school, I was really tired because of wondering how I will take my quizzes (especially since there was that "No quiz, you get the lowest grade of all your quizzes as your quiz grade." policy). My hands and feet were clammy, my heart was being squeezed and my stomach has butterflies in it.

When I finally stepped foot in school, I wanted to cry because I did not know how to fix this mess... But then again, I remembered to "Give thanks to the Lord in all circumstances for it is God's will for you, in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18)" because "...God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)." IT WAS CRAZY TO THANK GOD BECAUSE I WAS IN SUCH A DILEMMA, BUT I DID IT, ANYWAY... Out of that thing called faith.

I ended up showing up to my Thermodynamics teacher so that I can plead on taking my quiz. Thankfully, he did, but on one condition - I needed to take the quiz by 9:40. I went to look for my Physiology teacher, but I can't find him. I decided to take things moment by moment and took my Thermodynamics quiz. After that, I finally found my Physiology teacher and he talked to us (Nico Ng and I, because we were in the same situation) about our "problem." After giving us suspense on whether he decided to give us a quiz or not, he concluded that "We all have our fair share of bad days" and "S*** happens," and that we were allowed to take the quiz, but on a shorter time span.

I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY I WAS. No wonder God has a reason for us to thank Him even in REALLY CRAZY situations.

The day went by smoothly after that, and though it was really NOT MY DAY (It was proven during my 2:40 PM Digital Electronics subject, when I dropped my file case and it was heard througout the classroom... and my teacher, who also happened to be the one teaching my Physiology subject, declared, "Kamae, it is really not your day." Haha.), I must say it was GOD'S DAY of giving me first-hand, short-term experience of "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps (Proverbs 16:9)."

P.S. Remember how God lets people experience things so that they can preach from the heart? That happened to me that day as I was assigned to give a nugget talk during Archer's Call (CCC's weekly prayer time and fellowship) about having a Revolutionary Walk (one of the points is "Living by Faith"). Haha.

Human

Panel taken from last page of Uncanny X-men #137

This panel stood out among the rest as I was reading my X-men graphic novel (actually, a compilation of what the X-men franchise claims as its "best stories ever told") the other day.

The thought is just "woah". Somebody who had the ability to be so powerful chose to sacrifice herself in order to save mankind.

Heroes like Jean... do they still exist (in real life)? (Or rather... did people like that even exist [in real life]?)

Happy Freedom Day, fellow Filipinos. Somehow, this post aligned itself with this special occasion. Haha.

Let Me Not Forget

The phrase "Let me not forget" stuck to my head after reading Psalm 77 (because of the devotional I was reading - Women On The Journey), and so I ended up writing a poem with that phrase (and Psalm) in mind.

*****

When life has turned its back on me,
Surely I will struggle.
Soon enough I will call for help
Expecting that You will stretch out Your mighty hand.

But if ever You do not,
Let me not forget:
How I smelled the sweet fragrance of Your creation.
Let me not forget:
How I waded in the streams of Your grace.
Let me not forget:
How I felt the cool breeze of Your blessings.
Let me not forget:
How I basked under the warmth of Your great love.
Let me not forget,
Let me not forget.


P.S. "Surely I will struggle. Soon enough I will call for help" - Those 2 lines actually bother me because Christians do ask God for help in everything, right? But then again, before we cannot/ do not ask for help if we do not need help. So, those two lines remain as they are.